I have never written a blog before and this being the first attempt I am bit nervous. The same things always happened to me in life; whenever I wanted to do something I was bit scared, bit nervous and result of which I was always scared to try new things in my life. Yes but life doesn’t stop at this it forces you and takes you where it wants you to land.
I have always learn the lessons hard way, I have suffered many a times before getting an end result, most of the time due to “situation I was placed in” and sometimes due to “kind of people I have around me”. Many times there are desires in life like desire to get distinction, higher salary, a higher degree, a good living place or get married etc. list is endless. These desires tend to decide your goals in your life, and once the goals are set we don’t even look at the possibility of any other priorities in life and just want to chase that goal.
We try to decide the success or failure of our life based on the achievements or completion of the goals. Since childhood I am a kind of person if I set a goal then I don’t take a rest unless I accomplish it; I crazily run after it, do good or evil things but try to succeed in life by fulfilling that goal.
The second important point which I mentioned about the situation and the people that in a situation make you define your goal. While I mention this, intention is not to pinpoint any specific individual but just want to put forth my feelings.
Let me take help of the below story -
Imagine you are in a boat in a deep ocean, then all of sudden the boat crashes with an iceberg and gets a hole allowing water to enter your boat. You have a company of people around you and perfect situation to face. In the given circumstances you will have to set a new goal leaving aside all other goals of your life to reach the shore and save your life. This makes you forcefully define a lifesaver goal; if you are drowned at that moment anyways you won’t be there to fulfill rest of the goals of your life LOL. Everyone knows that the boat is drowning and everyone wants to get out and save life. So as a group everyone will start giving opinions like -
1) Jump out of the boat and swim to the shore
2) Make an effort to fix the boat
3) Call for help
Etc.
If I am part of the situation then the common yelling, the loud group discussion and thousands of suggestions/advices will ultimately and obviously stop my thinking capability. Scared to death; I will definitely not imagine myself as an extremely talented person so much so that I can think different and I will come up with great idea which will save everyone along with me. Most important I had never imagined that the given situation will ever come to me. Most important if in a given situation the people around me are very near are dear to me I will anyways rely on their capability to set those goals for me.
After we set the goals and create your own success indicators you tend to follow them whole heartedly. Now if those goals are met and we are out of the situation we think ourselves as successful.
If we fail we often consider that as the end of the life & come to a conclusion of being a good for nothing creatures, other key achievements, success milestones don’t really matter to us. We tend to curse ourselves, people around us and God for being in such a bad phase of life.
At such a point of life we should ask few important questions to ourselves –
- Was it really the most important goal of the life?
- What all you did to achieve that goal and was it enough or worth it?
- Did people advise you because they wanted to see your failure?
- Why GOD kept you in such a situation and most importantly why only you?
Post failure if you think about the answers, believe me you will never get the right answers. The feelings will lead you to further frustrations.
In that situation where worries and sadness is all around, the feeling of a biggest loser in the world in on our mind, we should convince our heart and mind to walk on the track of “Now what next”.
It is difficult to do so but you can do that with a simple exercise; ask the same questions again and again to yourself and try to find out the true answers. Apply the strategy of “same question different answers” with a motive to get a positive hope and to gain inner strength.
Likewise I got some of the answers myself.
1) 1) Most important goal - Are you sure that was the most important goal?
Somebody said that to every goal in life there are at-least 10 other equally important goals. There is a possibility that you being part of the situation might have considered it as important. Think if it is the only responsibility on your shoulders? Why the other responsibilities went as low priorities? Why did you define the success/failure criteria of life based on that goal? Practically things can go wrong; you may get failures which are of the equal probability of success.
“Everybody is Genius and every goal is Important but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid - Albert Einstein”. May be the goal set was not right instead you have a better and important goal that was the priority.
2)
2) Enough Efforts? – Yes when you try to achieve a goal most important part is how much you tried? How much was enough?
When you are passionate you try your best, upturn every stone but you don’t get desired results. Rather on the positive side if the goal is important enough you are expected to give 100 %. Trying your best means when you turn back to past things there are no regrets of saying If I would have tried I would have succeeded. You can’t go back in past and change things but the feeling gives you more inspiration and energy to face the next situation. After the failure you get the experience that is the best award or stepping stone.
"Everyone is not equal (in the biological sense) and such is the nature of life. What is important is to understand your limitations and figure out a solution from your unique situation."
3) 3) People around you – As a human we are definitely interested in blaming others. If you are successful you will not give credit to others but in case you fail you will find each and every tiny thing to blame.
We are talking about people and they do matter a lot and as mentioned if the people are near and dear ones and someone on whom you can rely upon. Sometimes they can be wrong as well, their advice can be wrong as well, but that never meant what they did was because they wanted you to fail. They cared about you they loved you and they will be more than happy if they see you successful because seeing you successful will give them satisfaction.
There might be so many things that you should think at such a point like maybe they didn’t know your goals well, maybe they assumed etc. The key thing is never blame the people around you if you consider them as your near and dear ones. If they or their advice was not useful in achieving this goal may be it will in the next goal which is right for you. Never lose faith and belief on them because they have the most important factor of experience and they love you unconditionally without expecting anything in return.
4) 4) Last but the most important GOD – Everyone often asks questions when they fail- God Why me? Why I am kept in such a situation?
In failure we blame God whereas we don’t ask same question to God when something good happens. We don’t remember him every day, don’t pray and ask for his pardon or rather thanks him for the beautiful life.
Then why only in situation of trouble and failure we approach him? Is it not mistake on our end? Is god not taking care of us even if we do have every faith in him?
The answer is simple God knows which goals are important for you; he was taking care of you before you were born. He has already wrote your destiny and it’s only in his holy power to change it.
So in a success of failure you should trust God take his shelter and live the next decisions to him. When we feel weak confused and tired ask for his mercy and guidance. He will give you new directions new hopes, capability and strength to keep fighting. We might be wrong but God will never be.
Summary: Live life prolifically means live your life for good reasons. Make new and alternative goals, trust near and dear people, never blame them and lose them and most important trust god and walk on his path of wisdom.
Finally there is no bad decision/ person; it was the situation which made us think they are bad.
Cheers
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